Deep breaths all over the place

I’m sorry I didn’t actually cosplay I mean I had no resources to but I still feel pathetic being the only one there who wasn’t able to cosplay, once again everything felt like I was being the biggest bother in the world to literally everyone I talked to

Honestly in some of the shipping pictures I felt like the cosplayers hated being around me, because they must have put work into their cosplays but because I literally had no resource I didn’t deserve to be around them

Maybe that’s why no one’s been posting any of the Nepeta pictures I mean I must have ruined the entire Nepeta section by being such a bad person to be in the picture despite having such a lame “cosplay”

Have I ever said how much I hate me

I never let myself enjoy myself for more than like maybe a few hours a time without analyzing everything and settling happily into the feeling that everyone hates me without saying anything

shakily thumbs up

This morning really super did not help I mean

It’s really upsetting having people interpret a post like “hey guys stop hating this ship because it’s two siblings! tumblr savior it/ignore it and move on!” as “I CONDONE RAPE AND ABUSE BETWEEN SIBLINGS AND INBREEDING AND WHAT IS THE WESTERMARCK EFFECT? XDDDD INCEST IS WINCEST LOL RAEP :3”

Because guess what I fear I come off as

Exactly that

Thumbs up to the universe

Then I see Plinz doing things on my dash regarding my pinecest post

narrows eyes

you are not welcome here no matter how much Soren and I joked around about you

You are the most un-cute tsundere you need to leave

Then the weird tumblr bug happening and wow I

Really hate Noel sometimes

Not because of him I guess I hate myself way more

shakily thumbs up

I hate just being so inadequate and then my close personal friends who have known me for 5+ years all go like “But noooooo we love you you’re so great and wonderful and anyone would be so lucky to date you!”

Man it’d be really great if

People I was interested thought that

But of course as usual the people who are reluctant to show emotion are the most interesting and the people who are the most disinterested in me are the most interesting

I hate jokeflirting now even I

Jokeflirted with the Dad cosplayer at the meetup and he was like “UHH YEAH YOU’RE LIKE 14 RIGHT?”

Covers face

I must have been literally the biggest loser there I am such a terrible waste of space and need to be taken out back and shot